Setiap kali ak buat sesuatu dlm hidup ku..its gonna be mess up all the thong goes wrong..yeah i know that my parents prayer have no more..i actually regret on something n before thos i had never admitt it..i find all thing beside me to blame on it..but inside me still kbowing that im the loser..nothing inside or outside myself..all pple seems like hate on me..yes o got paranoia in myself ..all things become negatif no more positive..i hate this situation..my sibling always been controlling me in and out..i dont know how to fight against them...i dont know even sout it aloud the thing s i evwn hate it..how im gonna do in my life i am also dont know..where i want to go i have to ask permossion like a child ..even how to go and else i have to ask the permission..what am l?????????????i even dont know.. until now..i cany do my own decision...i dont even confident to take any risks by my own decision..bcause alway made by my sisters..not talk to myself but other pple seem noticed it....i know something deeply in my..i want all this thing end fast..and stop paining inside..i know i should be a better person after my parents died a year before..i need to change.myself to be a better woman..better sister better child...but no one have guide me..they want a change but never show me how to change..they me to be like this and that..but they never ask me what am i want to be on my life...no one ask me those q.. i know and realise that money is nothing..i always remember my father said to me..ape skalipon trjadi kamu akn sntiasa blek pd pgkuan family kamu..abah amy fhm mksud abah but i am not like them..i am myself rebellious pple..i knew that i am not really really like others..i always do something on my own way my on head...dont wanna follow rules and so on...i hate myself for losing both of you..mak abah..i admitt that i really need u in my life..but now u r nowhere to find..just in dream...ineed to change drastically...but i dont know how..can anybody show me?

assalamualaikum...
hari ni ak nk citer n luah kan something..tpu la ak ckp ak ok je..tp dlm hati ak sape yg tau kn..ak nk sgt kalo dpt pluang ak nk ckp ngan mak ak n abah ak wat kali terakhir dlm keadaan mereka sdar dan tenang..ak nk ckp yg ak sggggt sygg kn mereka.. kalo masa ley di putarkan kmbali ak nk kembali pd wktu di mana ak bley  tunjuk yg ak syg kt dorg...byk sgt bnda yg berlaku dlm hidup ak ...byk prubahan yg ak dah lakukan  dlm sdar dan xsdar..mgkin ak xsdar tp org lain nmpak the changes i made..skang ni ak hidup dlm kerisauan ketakutan utk kehilangan semula..xsgggup ak nk hilang ape2 lg dlm hidup ak...
ak takut hilang kwn hilang brg2 hilang family sumer la ..termasuk hilang diri sendiri ak takut ak mgkin xdpt knal diri ak n;g yg dulu... sometimes i cry while sitting alone somewhere..i need love from everybody that i love ..like my family..friends and my beloved bf...when i know n heard somebody love me..i feel so happy and appreciate the love....i really miss u mom n abah...kalo bley nk ikot abah pergi skali..tp dlm mimpi abah slallu ckp nanti bkn masa amy ikot abah pergi bersama...npe abah pggil mak je npe xpggel amy skali??
e2 la soalan yg ak sndri tau xda sape ley jwb kan utk ak..

hye sumer..

arini ak nk citer yg ak sgt rndu kt abah ak....yelah dh bpe mggu xdgr dye sgt tlnga ak..  i live with his memory all day n night..

gaming best

i wanna play some game that i used to..but now no time to play.... huhu tension too many asgnment n tests hoho sometimes quizzes..

hye

hye

assalamualaikum..

start mggu lpas ngan mggu ni asyik sgt nngan buku huhu pening woo tp best bile jwb lam exam.. hm lately ni abah asyik sket je ak pon xtau pe yg ptot ak wat da la abah xda sore huhu rindu kot nk dgr dyr mngarut cm slalu..huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

hye

byk yg ak xtau lg 'bout my own family myself and others, i thought that maybe i'm the black sheep here in m family but no.. there's other people tooo...i felt so mad at my own father, mother and all eople in my life....sometimes i feel so tired being angry sad and frustrated but that's all i can feel now hhuhuhu dont know how to overcome that thing...my pop had double standard all my siblings i feel so ashamed on that thing feel like i had no dad its better
i thing i really need therapist to help me out of the matter share with me in professionally

huhuhuhuhuhu

dok umah msti ak yg kna buli xda da org lain trmasuk la adek ak..
mana keadilan nyer  jwbnyer xda xda mmg xda org kt umah ni mmg xadil...
gram lak ak..hmmmm maybe sumer tu ujian tuhan kot so ak redha je la.. ak rase kn ak amat perlukan pakar terapis kot bg selami jiwa ak yg agak kela kelibot ni..yela sume rase yg xpatot ak rase pon ada skali lam kpala n hati ak ni.. nk citer xda yg sudi nk dgr citer kter..huhuuhuhuhu org yg slalu ak kongsi citer dari A smpy Z dh arwah..kn best kalu ak ikot je dye pergi skali...:((

salam syg wat seseorang yang sye syg sgt....!!!

to my beloved, i wanna wish u happy birthday..may GOD bless u always, hope all ur dreams come true and the important thing is, i wanna say that i love u B.;)

all the memory before, now and in the future will be nice and great, INSYA ALLAH

may GOD bless us and make our relationship being long-lasting with HIS blessing and concern and having greats  and strong relationship ever. insyaALLAH. LOVE U..:)

thanks for loving me this much....

hm mcm2 dugaan jd lak masa2 gini..

hm arini ak nk citer pasal kejadian yg jd kt group ak..awana citra.. td ada group discussion, sumer org ada trmasuk la ak hehe..yg xpuas ati serta jantong nyer, ada la malaun yg xdtg, atas alasan konon xda transport...hmmm alasan gula2 nyampah mak....haisy kalo xslap ak la kn lam group ni ada jer kengkwn yg ada keta, siap offer lg lau xda bas ke ape ke ..pggil jer diorg, biar dorg yg amek ke ape ke, ni x, boley plak wat diam jer cm xbesalah..haisy ak lak yg jd gram. dh la 2 xtau nk wat benda yg kitorg pon xtau nk wat tp dtg jugak wat sma2 xkesah lah, sama2 wat sama2 tggung sama2 jgak pandai dan sebaliknya..ak xla kate ak ni perfect tok nk mngata org tp 1 jer lau x tau sesuatu yg konpem kiter xtau, bley x, kiter g tye org, jgn la harap sumer org nk cari kiter tok bg tau ...logiknyer kiter nk tau kiter la cari bnda atau orang utk wat bahan rujukan 

ha snang jer concept nyer kn..xsusah pon.sajer jer "org2" tersebot minta kna marah dek org..haisy....

serabut gler..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haisy pening ak dua tiga minggu ni rsa kepala cm nk meletop pon ada..selama ni ak ok jer..hm smalam lagi la ak rasa hari ak yg plg mlg..sbb smlm kna saman ngan pak cik polis, pastu g klas lambat, keje cm cpot tuuuuuutttttt je hadoi pastu masa present muka puan pon cm toya je cm bosan tggu kitorg present huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu sedeh gler xtau la nape ak cm xdpt la nk manage time ak ngan btol lg huhuhuhu spatotnya org umo cm ak ni da boley da nk manage time tu leklok.hari ni plak serabot ngan dateline nk anta report CTU  kul 3pm karang ada plak la yg xsiap lg tp tu la salah diri sndri xckup masa nk wat asyikk tumpu kt bnda lain jer. i hate myself for being like this, being worst day by day ..  huhuhu .haisy rasa cm nk bom diri sndri huwaaaaaaa somebody help me out from here..... ak ckp kt kwn ak lau cmni baik kawen jer kn snang..hahahha pastu dorg sumer glakkan ak.. dorg kater "

ko egt ..ngan kawen tu ko dpt ke selesaikan masalah ke??..xla, ko sbnarnya lari kn diri dr masalah lg ada la..,ko sepatotnya selesaikan masalah tu ngan baik ok.." jd ak kna la g membtolkan diri ak supaya jd lebih baik  

emergency!!!!

cmner la ak nk register course ni..peniing ak maaa...nk jmpe puan R ke x ni??? bg la comment cket hhuhuhuhuuu tulun 20x

my life in campus this day..

i have to come early to my rental house 
to clean up all those dirt, then later my friend will show up..so exhausted..