Setiap kali ak buat sesuatu dlm hidup ku..its gonna be mess up all the thong goes wrong..yeah i know that my parents prayer have no more..i actually regret on something n before thos i had never admitt it..i find all thing beside me to blame on it..but inside me still kbowing that im the loser..nothing inside or outside myself..all pple seems like hate on me..yes o got paranoia in myself ..all things become negatif no more positive..i hate this situation..my sibling always been controlling me in and out..i dont know how to fight against them...i dont know even sout it aloud the thing s i evwn hate it..how im gonna do in my life i am also dont know..where i want to go i have to ask permossion like a child ..even how to go and else i have to ask the permission..what am l?????????????i even dont know.. until now..i cany do my own decision...i dont even confident to take any risks by my own decision..bcause alway made by my sisters..not talk to myself but other pple seem noticed it....i know something deeply in my..i want all this thing end fast..and stop paining inside..i know i should be a better person after my parents died a year before..i need to change.myself to be a better woman..better sister better child...but no one have guide me..they want a change but never show me how to change..they me to be like this and that..but they never ask me what am i want to be on my life...no one ask me those q.. i know and realise that money is nothing..i always remember my father said to me..ape skalipon trjadi kamu akn sntiasa blek pd pgkuan family kamu..abah amy fhm mksud abah but i am not like them..i am myself rebellious pple..i knew that i am not really really like others..i always do something on my own way my on head...dont wanna follow rules and so on...i hate myself for losing both of you..mak abah..i admitt that i really need u in my life..but now u r nowhere to find..just in dream...ineed to change drastically...but i dont know how..can anybody show me?

assalamualaikum...
hari ni ak nk citer n luah kan something..tpu la ak ckp ak ok je..tp dlm hati ak sape yg tau kn..ak nk sgt kalo dpt pluang ak nk ckp ngan mak ak n abah ak wat kali terakhir dlm keadaan mereka sdar dan tenang..ak nk ckp yg ak sggggt sygg kn mereka.. kalo masa ley di putarkan kmbali ak nk kembali pd wktu di mana ak bley  tunjuk yg ak syg kt dorg...byk sgt bnda yg berlaku dlm hidup ak ...byk prubahan yg ak dah lakukan  dlm sdar dan xsdar..mgkin ak xsdar tp org lain nmpak the changes i made..skang ni ak hidup dlm kerisauan ketakutan utk kehilangan semula..xsgggup ak nk hilang ape2 lg dlm hidup ak...
ak takut hilang kwn hilang brg2 hilang family sumer la ..termasuk hilang diri sendiri ak takut ak mgkin xdpt knal diri ak n;g yg dulu... sometimes i cry while sitting alone somewhere..i need love from everybody that i love ..like my family..friends and my beloved bf...when i know n heard somebody love me..i feel so happy and appreciate the love....i really miss u mom n abah...kalo bley nk ikot abah pergi skali..tp dlm mimpi abah slallu ckp nanti bkn masa amy ikot abah pergi bersama...npe abah pggil mak je npe xpggel amy skali??
e2 la soalan yg ak sndri tau xda sape ley jwb kan utk ak..

hye sumer..

arini ak nk citer yg ak sgt rndu kt abah ak....yelah dh bpe mggu xdgr dye sgt tlnga ak..  i live with his memory all day n night..

gaming best

i wanna play some game that i used to..but now no time to play.... huhu tension too many asgnment n tests hoho sometimes quizzes..

hye

hye

assalamualaikum..

start mggu lpas ngan mggu ni asyik sgt nngan buku huhu pening woo tp best bile jwb lam exam.. hm lately ni abah asyik sket je ak pon xtau pe yg ptot ak wat da la abah xda sore huhu rindu kot nk dgr dyr mngarut cm slalu..huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa